There are a number of common mistakes that men make with displaying an online dating profile photo.
Most online dating sites will now allow you to have a number of photos on your profile but the most important photo is the one that first shows when your dating profile opens and this should be of you.
It is very noble to say “people should get to know me and not just be attracted to my looks” but that is simply not how the human mind works. Physical attraction is still a very necessary part of the dating process, so here are 8 of the most common mistakes:
1. No photo
This can suggest a number of things, either you have no confidence, are the elephant man or don’t want your wife finding out you are registered with a dating site. There are no positive aspects to not having a profile photo and this is unlikely to find you a date. If you are simply concerned about who may see you are registered with an online dating site (eg work colleagues or your children) then join a site that allows you to hide your photo and only share it with people you accept as friends. Beware of saying you will email a photo, ladies receive the most revolting pictures this way and will be wary of accepting your email.
2. False photos
Putting up a photo of Brad Pitt, a male model, you when you were 23 or one of your better looking friends may well get you more responses but what will happen when you actually meet someone in real life and they immediately see you are a fake? What else will they think you have lied about?
3. The cut out or ex
Displaying a photo of yourself with a beaming smile, female arm around you and what is obviously long hair trailing on your shoulder is not what women want to see. Also a photo with a female, whether that is your ex or a female friend sends bad signals. Most women would immediately compare themselves to the woman in the photo and it may just put them off contacting you or responding to your contact.
4. Group photos
Putting up a photo of you and three friends on a stag weekend and saying I’m second from the left will simply mean people can’t really see your face. Yes it means you are fun, active and have friends but people initially want to see you and decide if you are their type physically.
5. Self taken shots
A profile photo which clearly shows you are holding the camera yourself is actually quite negative, it suggests you are unable to find anyone to take a good picture of you. Webcam photo’s are simply bad quality and tend to show your face from a strange angle. It takes little effort to get a friend or family member to take a nice picture of you for your profile and the resulting contacts will make the effort worthwhile.
6. Children in photos
Men seem to be more prone to including a photo with their children, whether this is through pride or to show they are a family man but it is a mistake. Children have the right to privacy and it is easy to get chatting online and give out snippets of details about where you live or the name of the school your child(ren) attend and you have no idea who you are handing that information to. Keep your children safe and only show their photo to people you have been speaking to for some time and feel confident will not abuse your trust.
7. The naked chest
Unless you are joining an adult dating site then just don’t do it, it isn’t attractive even if you have a six pack. Yes of course women look and will probably find it sexy but it is very hard to take a man seriously that feels the need to display his chest. If you have a six pack then wear a tight t-shirt and leave something to the imagination.
8. Sunglasses, hats and sports gear
So you think you look like Tom Cruise in your aviator sunglasses or just cool in your baseball cap (plus it hides the thinning hairline) but women want to see your face so don’t hide behind props
For the best dating profile photo get an up to date photo of your head and shoulders, make sure it is clear and good quality. Ladies want to see your eyes, your smile and the real you.
As a demonstration look at these two photos and decide which would be more attractive to women:
June 15th, 2008 at 6:13 am
Cool definitely some tips that I’m going to keep in mind..i totally think its funny when people cut out pictures of them with there ex..its always so obvious and cheesy
June 16th, 2008 at 9:18 am
I really enjoyed reading this post. I wonder if you’d like to guest write on TalkAboutADate It’s a twitter-like dating site. Thanks. Greg
June 16th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
Gosh I appear to have changed my name to Dave!!! Thanks for the links though.
Thanks for visiting my blog Greg, I shall come on over and have a look at Talkaboutadate.
February 27th, 2010 at 8:03 pm
Wow, what a collection! Thanks for this. It was a joy reading through some of it and I might use it for further research.
July 14th, 2010 at 3:13 pm
i agree when i see guys online holding a girl . i ask why do you have a girl in the picture .they get offended when i ask , and they say you just have issues . what really is funny is they profile says loking for long term . i thinking player or bad player .