Coming up with date ideas for shy people is not as easy as it sounds, dating can be quite a painful experience if you are very shy.
Where you take a shy date will depend upon just how shy they are, the more shy they are the quieter the location should be.
Don’t plan long dates unless there is an activity involved which will take the focus off the date and put it on to the activity, then your date will hopefully feel less shy about the date itself.
Most of the usual rules for date ideas do not apply to shy people, here are 5 date ideas for shy people:
It’s the easiest date in the world for shy people if you pick your location well and the best choice for a first date. Try to find an olde worlde coffee shop or tea room, somewhere with soft lighting and nooks and crannies you can hide in to sip your coffee. Keep the date short to avoid long shy silences.
Before your date find something in the local paper you would like to see or do. Take the paper to your date, if you would like to see them again show the event to your date, ask them if they fancy going along with you. If you don’t want to see them again then just leave the paper on the table when you leave.
2. A Concert, Theatre or Cinema
You can get the best tickets in town or the local church production of Oliver, it doesn’t matter. Your date has time to get comfortable around you without having to feel shy. After the concert, film or play you can go for a coffee somewhere quiet and hopefully chat about the event you just saw together.
Strange title but this one is all about what you both enjoy. Could be a cathedral, castle, museum, modern art gallery, etc but somewhere you can go to look at that allows you both to talk if you feel able or just look at the surroundings if you are feeling too shy to talk. The more interested your date is in the location the more likely they are to start talking about your surroundings
4. The Zoo
It doesn’t have to be a zoo, a falconry centre, aquarium, animal sanctuary or city petting farm/zoo, in fact anything with animals. Shy people often feel less anxiety if they are around animals, particularly if they can touch the animals. Take a camera along but only take pictures of the animals, unless your date opens up a little and you ask permission.
5. A Long Drive
Shy people often like to drive or be a passanger in a car on a long drive, they can see the world pass by but don’t feel intimidated by it. The radio can mask any long silences and you can point out passing landmarks to give them the opportunity to talk if they feel able. It doesn’t matter if you drive 200 miles to buy an ice cream or roll of toilet paper, it’s the quality time you can spend together without making your date feel shy and uncomfortable.
One idea for driving is to geta tape or cd of a comedy show, laughter can often bring a shy person out of their shell a little but let them come out at their own pace and don’t force things.
My thanks go to Karen, my very shy friend, for her help with date ideas for shy people.