Online dating safety is really quite simple but despite all the horror stories people still feel they are invincible behind their computer screen.
When it comes to online dating people are thinking with their emotions, they want to meet someone nice so it’s easy to ignore warning signs and trust too quickly.
It doesn’t matter how well you “think” you know a person from an online dating site, your safety must always be at the forefront of your mind.
Follow these 5 golden rules to online dating safety:
Join a Paid Dating Site
Yes I know, there are all those free sites out there so why should you pay. Very simply because the free sites are where the spammers, scammers and ner-do-wells hang out. Why should they pay when there are millions of potential victims on free sites. Paid sites collect credit card numbers, that is the sort of personal information scammers don’t like to give out. This does not eliminate the risks but it does greatly reduce them.
Personal Information
Flattery can lead people to hand out personal information within minutes of being contacted on a dating site. It’s quite frightening how much you can find out about someone with just a name, email address and phone number.
Guard your personal information well until you are sure you know who you’re talking to, use the sites services to chat for some time before handing out your personal details. If someone gets pushy about your information then ask yourself why.
Get a free email address just for online dating, so you can close it easily if need be. Get a dating mobile phone with a pay as you go card, again this can easily be cancelled. Use a free service like skype to chat online so you can see who you are talking to before you hand out your phone number.
Don’t Be Shy
Ask for personal information and check it! People often worry that the dream man or woman they are chatting to will think you don’t trust them if you insist on some personal information. Any genuine online dater will understand the online dating safety issues and be happy to reassure you with some personal details.
Ensure photos are recent, look for car models in the background, fashions and hairstyles .. are there any 80′s shoulder pads in the photo. Call any phone numbers they give you and call at odd times, not the same time every day, this helps to eliminate married people. Check snippets of information they give you, if they say they live in London and it was a bright sunny day then check the weather forecast for London.
Background Checks
Whether your paid online dating site offers a background check service or you do a background check yourself, remember people tell lies, particularly if they something to hide. No background check is a thorough police search into someones identity so don’t let yourself be fooled into a false sense of security.
All a basic background check does is check whether the information provided is correct and it does not ensure your safety. What if I tell you my name is Emily Parks and I work at Fairfield School as a primary teacher, I drive a red Toyota and have a dog named Spot. Now, what if I just gave you personal details of someone I know .. it will check out fine but that is no guarantee it’s me.
Meeting Up
Whether you are a man or woman you must think about your safety when meeting offline.
Always:
- Meet in a public place
- Tell someone where you are meeting
- Call a friend five minutes after you meet
- Tell your friend their car registration details if they came by car
Never:
- Allow them to collect you from home
- Let them book you a hotel
- Arrange to stay at their house
- Give them your credit card to pay for dinner while you nip to the toilet
romance and relationships
May 11th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
These days you can never be too careful about the people you associate with. A sign of the times I suppose.
June 7th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
love these ideas. Great work. Quality
June 8th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
I have to agree on the Paid dating sites part, it is well worth it !
June 10th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
This is a great article, saftey is never an option specially when it comes to online dating.
Eli’s last blog post..Online Dating?
September 17th, 2009 at 2:39 am
we must always think of the safety of everyone especially the teens.
September 17th, 2009 at 2:42 am
The idea in the article is true and it is very helpful especially to teenagers who are common victims of gang and date rape.
September 22nd, 2009 at 5:49 am
These days, trust is not a matter of faith anymore but rather a matter of verification. Do not be fooled by love!
September 23rd, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Hi Oscar
While I agree we must protect younger people with less life experience, I also think the teens are far more internet savvy than many of us oldies. Older generations tend to be more trusting and the fact that they are often looking for a committed relationship, rather than some fun, makes them more vulnerable to scammers and crazies.
May 21st, 2010 at 9:25 pm
This is interesting, i have been playing with the spammers and scammers re: online dating scam. the new bta is interesting, the scammers will argue with you when you catch them in their obvious lie. I have just completed a sting operation of 2 such SISTERS IN SCAM from Nigeria, England,Italy, See i play the game also, i found someone photo male, from face book, tagged with false name and joined in the fun for over a year in half. Wanted to see how far this would go.. IT started off with low figure 600.00 graduated to 1500. for some documents being held because they stay at hotel and basic pow nonsense. DONT FALL FOR IT, they will say they are not being fed, about to die, the biggest crapola from uae now in dubai, NO no one is going to die there. Short story, when these scammer are done and they know they cannot extract any money or more money if you fall prey, they will tell you male or female, they want to meet you and dupe you to pay one way plane fare then all of sudden bta which is a fraud, basic travel allowance no, btr basic travel required is real in some countries, key word to follow ALLOWANCES, these jerkers dont know the meaning between allowances and requirement.
know you foreign currency exchange market, they will for example UK say it will cost 5000 british silver pounds, NOPE high end 75 Cents on the dollar. I finally had enough you can also track email of the scammers, copy paste scammers email addr , then if you have option in email to display full headers of email to that email address. Google who is, select trace email, copy past the email address and copy past full header information run trace, will tell you exactly where this bozo email from country, map will display with in 600 yards will also provide ip address and internet service they use. I have 23 ladies and gentlement now arrested and waiting trail for international dating scam .. Its nice to know how to program and actually help authorities catch these Individuals, gotta play to catch em takes some time can be fun, depending if you single, not so much if you date or being married, because you can be talking to one or up to 6 or seven depending on their masters schedule,… ME i dont like the girls having to serve jail time for some Scum bag jerk who really should be the one in jail. I concentrate on that goof over the ladies, they just do what is told and get paid, like a kicker on football team ,, kick ball collect check. Hope this also adds insight.
August 16th, 2010 at 9:52 pm
It is a sad commentary on the world today that you have to almost assume that what you see online is bogus. Perhaps the paid sites could offer a service that includes pre-screening?
Steve@Forex Trading System Blog´s last blog ..
August 18th, 2010 at 3:32 am
Hi Steve
The only way to do this I think Steve would be to go out and interview each member. Some dating sites for local areas do this but the cost of doing it worldwide would mean the dating sites would be unaffordable for the masses. Hopefully technology will come up with something in the near future.
December 6th, 2010 at 1:35 am
nice text you wrote i like it…I got scam and beleive it really hurt. I wonder why the dating site when we refer a scammer to them why they don’t post their picture and name on the site, so like this anaway you can verify and this part should be available to every boby. also when they remove a profile intead to say for ex: this profine is not available anymore or anything else…it should say this profile has been reported as a scammer..be carefull…also when we reporte a scammer on a dating site i think if it is possible that an e-mail should go to all the people the person chat with and tell them this person has been reported as a scammer…
I enjoy reading oon your site
thanks for the good advice
Renay
December 7th, 2010 at 12:07 pm
Hi Renay
You are correct dating sites should do this but they see it as “bad press”, thinking we don’t all know that their site gives easy access to scammers. The honest answer is they don’t care, scammers registering with their website adds to the numbers of profiles and this in itself brings in more paying customers.