Following on from my last post with 8 common mistakes men make with online dating profile photos let it never be said that women always do it right.
Women also make a number of common mistakes with their profile photo for their online dating profile.
As with the men, the main photo on your profile is the one that will either get them reading more about you or send them for the next button.
Sadly I have spoken to a number of women on my website who have stated they would never contact a man and will not display a photo because it means men that do contact them are not shallow.
Sorry ladies but I couldn’t possibly agree with you. Why does a man finding you physically attractive mean they are shallow? Physical attraction is required if a relationship is to develop. I agree it should not be the only basis for a date but surely as grown women we can easily tell through messages whether a man has any interest beyond our looks.
Here are 8 of the most common mistakes women make (some are the same as the men but written from a female angle):
1. No photo
There are very few men who would truthfully state that appearance is not important, this doesn’t mean they are shallow. Some men are much more interested in the inner women but still want to know there is some physical attraction before initiating contact. Not having a photo can show lack of confidence, create unrealistic images of what you may look like or suggest you are married and not wanting to get caught out (more and more married women are using dating sites as places to find casual affairs). As I said with the men, there are no positive aspects to having a profile without a photo, it doesn’t make you seem more demure or show more self respect. If you are simply concerned about children or work colleagues simply join a site where you can hide your photo and only show to those members you select.
2. Fake photos
I am really surprised Cameron Diaz has any time left for her career, considering she has 3 million online dating profiles on the go. This is simply false advertising, you are trying to make men create a certain mental image of you and unless you look like Cameron then it’s simply unfair and will lead to disappointment for any dates.
3. Old photos
Fine, 10 years ago you were slimmer and you are starting your diet tomorrow but believe me your date IS going to notice that you are 10 years older and 2 stone heavier. The only person you are fooling is yourself, yes you will get more attention and an ego boost with an old photo but at some point reality will arrive and the damage you will do to your own confidence when men reject you simply isn’t worth it.
4. Group photos
You may have a great photo of yourself on a girls night out or at work and group photos are fine for a profile album but not as a main picture. A group photo may show you are fun, active and have friends but men want to see you and decide if you are their type physically.
5. Self taken shots
Don’t hold your mobile phone at arms length and take a picture of yourself, it will not be flattering. It will also be at odds with your profile if you say you are active and sociable. If you don’t want to say you are joining a dating site them tell a friend or work colleague it is for a social networking site or to send to a penpal and ask them to take a nice photo of you. If you have moved to a new area and don’t know anyone then take a camera to the local park and ask a woman there to take a photo of you.
6. Photos of your Children
Women are less likely these days to display photos of their children on dating sites but if you do choose to do so please don’t make it the main profile photo and if possible hide it from public view and only show members in your friends list. It is very easy during online conversations to mention things like school names or a school event that may give out more information than you should.
7. The Sexy pose
Will you get more interest than ladies without sexily posed photos …. possibly but is that the attention you are looking for? Men have become wary of these style photos because they are used by Russian mail order brides and Nigerian scammers, so you may not get the interest you were expecting. These style photos also suggest that sex is the main thing on your mind, so if you are looking for a real relationship then stay fully dressed and display a photo that doesn’t scream “take me now”.
8. Accessories
We ladies like out accessories and I admit it, I have a pair of sunglasses I think I look particularly attractive in but people want to see your face and eyes. The eyes say so much about you and
To understand what I am saying look at these two photos and then ask yourself which one a man would want a fling with and which he would consider a long term relationship with:
June 21st, 2008 at 10:39 am
Great post, Avoiding these mistakes a person can create a better profile for online dating.