What do you think of older women dating younger men? Do you think of cougars, cradle snatchers or women refusing to accept getting older?
I remember more than two decades ago when Friday night at the Casino was known as Grab-a-Granny night, so older women dating younger men is hardly a new concept but is it now becoming more socially acceptable?
As I am slightly more than a decade older than my husband (no secret it’s on my About Me page) it is a subject close to my heart.
I tend to shy away from any internet information discussing the subject, as it tends to be highly stereotypical and rarely written by an older woman dating a younger man.
However, a new survey by a Cougar dating site, Cougared.com, may just blow the lid off the stereotypical older women dating younger men viewpoint and I was delighted when they emailed me a copy of the report.
The report asks some very searching questions like:
How old is the average cougar and what is the typical age gap?
What is the reaction of the guy’s family and friends to her age?
Why is dating men their own age yesterday’s news for cougars?
What kind of relationship are real life cougars really looking for?
You can read the full report here on the Cougared.com website, it makes interesting reading.
What I love about this report is it is written with authority, the information being provided by self confessed Cougars and not a stab in the dark by self proclaimed dating gurus.
The report also reassures me that I am not a typical Cougar … phew, I do hate to be labelled.
Now compare the reports answers to the suggested motivation for cougars provided on this Ezine article written by a dating pro (who writes on many dating subjects), who says:
“While many older men often marry their young girlfriends, cougars are generally not looking for a long term relationship, although sometimes it does happen despite their original intentions. Mostly, they are looking for some fun, both in and out of the bedroom.”
As hideous as that comment sounds it is far less insulting than this eHow article which suggest younger men have to be prepared to be prey and talks about helping them with essays, as if older women are seeking helpless school children … let’s hope that author and I never meet up!!
There is now a report stating “More than 90% of cougars are looking for a serious relationship – a myth-busting finding which shows that cougar women aren’t all just looking for casual fun” which I can point people to when they raise their eyebrows having heard about the age difference between my hubby and I.
I can only speak for myself but lack of commitment is certainly NOT the reasoning behind marrying a younger man and neither is his prowess in the bedroom … we simply fell in love, as any normal couple does.
I am not wealthy, I hadn’t dated a younger man before, we didn’t meet in a bar, I can’t provide my husband with a sumptuous lifestyle and I am far from mutton dressed as lamb … unless lambs have started wearing wellies and comfy knickers!!
Just might have some fun later and answer the survey questions on a blog post.
It all just goes to show that relationships come in many forms, people should not be labelled and it’s way past time that society got past their silly ideas of older women dating younger men.
December 14th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
I totally agree – age shouldn’t matter. If men can date and marry younger women, why shouldn’t women be able to go after younger men!
Just look at Demi Moore
Sarah@Dating Advice Books For Women´s last blog ..Dating Advice Book For Women | What’s The #1 Dating Advice Book For Women? updated Wed Dec 9 …
December 16th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
well all the same i dont think there is nothing wrong in cougar dating so please can i get a connection
December 30th, 2009 at 11:41 am
I can’t see why cougars get any more bad press than any other sector of the population. If you see a man who’s 10 or 20 years older than a girl then it tends to be a “good luck to him” response. Admittedly from there it can look very gold diggersih which I suppose can happen in either scenario. You can’t categorise so broadly who people are attracted to and as long as they are all consenting adults then who’s business is it anyway?
January 5th, 2010 at 1:33 am
I can remember when one night a week at our local night spot was known as “Grab a Granny” night. To be perfectly honest that is the night I preferred to go, you met such a better class of lady.
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January 8th, 2010 at 3:30 am
One of my close friends just married her “prey”. They’re about 8 years apart and are one of my wife and I’s favorite couples to hang out with.
I think they are both at the same stage in life and have the same goals. That is much more important than age in my opinion.
Steve
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January 19th, 2010 at 3:15 am
I don’t believe age becomes a hindrance to successful relationships. It’s how you handle and treasure the commitment that both of you have. Me too, I have a close friend who used to say she doesn’t want to have relationships with younger men. Buy guess what, she ended up in the altar with a man 2 years younger than her. Hehe. Kinda funny but the more you not want to be with someone or something you want, you’ll end up with that someone who’s the irony of what you are desiring.
Again, age doesn’t matter. You’re right.
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