What drives a good looking, confident single woman to only seek married men for a “relationship”? Is that what they set out to find or did she just discover that she can get what she wants or feels she needs from a casual relationship with a married man having an affair?
Some single men have admitted to wearing a wedding ring in order to attract women, they do not need to get emotionally involved and can limit the time they spend with a woman.
The obvious question for these women is ‘why not just date a single man?’
When you talk to these women their answers are invariably that they do not want ties or baggage, dating married men means they can pick and choose when they see them without the hassle or dirty socks.
They also lose no time in stating they are not the ones committing adultery. It makes me ask them if they recognise adultery is wrong then why are they an active party to it. They laugh at me and quickly repeat they are not the ones doing anything wrong.
These are confident women that can provide for themselves, they don’t need a husband or children to make their life complete, so an affair gives them exactly what they want without the baggage.
The next obvious question is ‘but what about the families you are breaking up?’
Here their logic eludes me, they say they can’t break up a family because if the marriage was happy the men would not be searching online dating sites for an adulterous affair.
Certainly you can’t argue with that point, these men are responsible for their own actions but surely the ladies need to take some responsibility for making themselves available only to married men and therefore threatening a marriage, happy or not.
It seems to me it is simply a way to shift the blame, to be the innocent party without ties or responsibilities and it must therefore be all his fault. The idea that their seeking out these men is in fact a part of the process and problem is rejected, as this would mean what they are doing is wrong.
When asked about entering into relationships that are doomed to fail because the man is not available these ladies will insist that the men are available, they make themselves available by putting themselves on the market.
There is a website that has been running quite successfully for the past two years which provides, for a fee, everything you need for a fake alibi including hotel and flight bookings, work seminars and they even man the telephone in case your other half calls. The ironic part is that they also offer private investigation services to catch your partner cheating. However, services like this cannot survive if there is no demand for them so someone must be paying for the services.
I find it all a little sad, that anyone would actively seek a married person to have a casual relationship with, it sounds rather like a business contract.
Perhaps these women have been hurt or used and are going for revenge? I admit I do not understand their motives but what surprised me in these conversations is that they are vibrant confident women and I did feel they were selling themselves short.