Dating Tips and Advice | Dating Blog

Hi! I was asked by Sally, if I would mind relating some of my experiences of dating sites! I’m like ‘OMG!’ is she asking the right person? …and just how many of my experiences do they actually want to hear!! She waited until I had consented before suggesting (quite strongly!) that I keep it clean!

It was about three years ago, having spent the previous few years alone, that I stumbled upon a dating site while googling some un-remembered and probably weird subject to ease my boredom! It was the ‘Free to join’ and ‘Guaranteed partner within 6 months’ type of statements that had me completing the profile questionnaire with a growing sense of excitement…

My first major lesson was that ‘Free Membership’ was just that… free membership!! It wasn’t free to contact anyone though, or reply to a message or to even participate in the forums! I wasn’t against paying… it was just the misleading banners they used to draw me in that I took offence to! So off I went to find a dating site that that was more suited to my needs.

Now it was time to tackle the profile… sooo many questions and my brain decides right then to have a wee nap and my literary masterpiece becomes nothing more than… “Hi! I’m single. I don’t want to be single. I’m looking for a partner. I’m very interesting. Can you use a washing Machine?”

And then the ‘uploading photos’ part appears and I’m gripped with a fear… HEEEEEELP! If I was going to meet this immensely beautiful woman and it wasn’t going to cost me a penny… then these odd photos that I had littered around my desktop were suddenly quite important! OMG! What pictures do I upload??
Er… this one makes me look totally bald but reasonably muscly!
Ooooh! that one with a false but friendly smile might just do it!
er.. erm…. or I could just Google ‘male model, a quick cut’n'paste and hey presto I’m suddenly gorgeous!

And what the hell am I supposed to put in these boxes that are asking me all about my current lifestyle? I’m bored stiff, feel incredibly lonely and if I could find a life I’d be more than willing to give it some style!

Although I’d say that I was a streetwise type of guy, I have to admit that Computer Dating became an eye-opener! This was a totally different ball-game… a minefield of unexpected stuff like fake-profiles, Scammers and ‘THE MODS’!! What is going on with these weird Moderator People? or should I say PC Police? lol I look at my previous posts sometimes and wonder did I really make a typo like ‘Feck it’? *makes a mental note to replace spell-checker!!

Once over the  hurdles and some valuable lessons had been learnt, it was time for me to find this gorgeous girl who was out in cyberland… I conducted a search for all girls aged between 19 and 20, photo a must and profile must contain words like ‘gagging for it’! My search turned up nothing and I scratched my head in bewilderment… maybe I was being to fussy and tried expanding the age range from 19 to 21!

I tried mailing women who had a pretty face or had saucy profiles but rarely got a reply and the ones I did get were strangely suggesting I needed a personality transplant! I was close to giving up but luckily I had a sudden brain-wave… I’d post something in the forums! Jeeze.. Scary times!! I posted a ‘Hello, I’m new’ kind of thread and very quickly found myself replying to peoples posts! It was awesome and I was amazed at how quickly I made friends… I had been trying too hard, just expecting a female to be attracted to my pic or profile rather than my personality!

Once I had finally got talking to a nice girl, it became time for my next hurdle… THE MEET! Now that really was terrifying! I was aware that I had used only the best possible photos for my profile and that on a very good day I may look a wee bit like them! I headed off to Edinburgh Station feeling sick! This girl was gorgeous, a proper stunner and she was going to be sooo disappointed in me! Why was I putting myself through this hell? Rejection just has to be one of the worst emotions I deal with and here I was setting myself up for a huge kick in the nuts!

I didn’t notice her when all the passengers came teaming from the carriages and nearly had a heart attack when this guy came up to me and announced that he was Shirley! It was only when he spoke that I noticed he had a very high voice… OK maybe it was a female but the facial hair? and where did the lovely white teeth go? In fact this just wasn’t the girl I had seen in the pics! I had no choice but to take her back to mine where we spent a very uncomfortable 3 days in separate bedrooms. I did go on to meet a lovely girl but it was a long-distance relationship and unfortunately didn’t work out after 9 months.

Here’s a few lessons I learnt while using dating sites…

1.  My profile had ‘desperate’ written all over it.
2.  Photo’s are just a rough guide to a persons appearance.
3.  Scammers want to have lots of sexy-time with me.
4.  Mods are from another planet.
5.  MSN/Cam-chat before meeting.
6.  Don’t assume nothing.
7.  Free is not always free.
8.  On first date… Do not arrange for one to stay at the others house.
9.  Use recent photos.
10. Have fun and use the forums.

So to cap it all… It took me a while to find a site that suited me, the forums became a huge help in my search for both friendships and love and most importantly I acquired a whole new section of my life that I am very grateful for! I’ve been a member with Country Couples since January 08 and I’ve yet to find another site that is as friendly and welcoming.

Xander