Do you keep picking the wrong partner or find your relationships all end the same way? Some people visualise their ideal ‘type’ of partner and yet time and again relationships with that ‘type’ fail to achieve the desired results ….. lasting love.
The problem here is that you are failing to learn by your dating mistakes, driven by your idea of the perfect partner for you. This can often lead to the belief that all women are crazy or all men are cheats, when in fact the problem lies with you not the people you are dating.
A couch potato may visualise a happy relationship with an active outgoing person but it is unlikely to work out as a relationship, yet they will again look for love with an active outgoing person after that relationship has failed.
If you are a homebody and only enjoy occasionally going out then finding a string of party animals is just walking headlong into the same disappointment over and over again.
You can set out in the dating game to meet a certain type and indeed you will meet them, you then expect the love and relationship to develop a particular way and usually it does. The final hurdle is you anticipate how it will end and sure enough it ends that way.
You have to change this cycle, examine the ‘type’ you go for, accept that it may be your fantasy but in reality it simply doesn’t work out and then change your expectations accordingly.
Simply following the same pattern of behaviour and expecting a different result is not only futile but also a recipe for a regularly broken heart.
It may be that you choose very different types to date but the relationships all end the same way, again this is because you follow the same patterns over and over again. Unless you change the way you visualise and act out a relationship then nothing can change, just because their name is Bob not Steve or Cindy not Carol makes no difference, it is your behaviour that is causing the pattern to repeat.
If you visualise that your partner will cheat then invariably they will. Your behaviour changes in anticipation of this cheating, so you look for signs, your partner picks up on this and feels you have no trust in them (hint: love requires trust) and the pattern repeats itself, you can actually bring about the thing you are dreading.
To end this self destructive cycle begin by examining the ‘type’ you go for before you start dating again, are they really what will make a fulfilling relationship for you? Then closely examine your pattern of behaviour in relationships, be honest with yourself do you keep repeating the same mistakes?
Once you recognise the pattern you can begin to change it, try a different type or change your expectations of how the relationship will end.
March 25th, 2009 at 1:21 am
I love reading these comments by automated blog scrapers, they take your content turn it into gobblygook and spew it out again .. quite comical really.