Dating Tips and Advice | Dating Blog

It is not often I would quote an American psychotherapist, being a typical Brit I believe group hugging should be reserved for dogs, horses and occasionally small children.

However I came across this quote by Dr Wayne W Dyer:

“Be miserable or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.”

Dr Dyer is talking about life in general, any event that you have to tackle but of course this also refers to dating and relationships too.

As the owner of a dating website I chat to people all day about relationships, loneliness, heartbreak and moving on after divorce. As well as a traditional dating site we also have an active forum where a group of like-minded friends get together to chat and this is where my love of people watching is fulfilled.

At least 70% of the new members that chat in the forum are over 40 and believe they are destined to be single forever, their chance of love has passed them by.

Of course we all say what nonsense that is and a new love could turn up at any time but I know from experience that once that attitudes takes hold it is hard to shake.

I am always delighted to get emails saying “I have met someone” but last weeks email was even more special than usual. The lady in question was a die hard ‘there is no hope of finding love again’ person, she was utterly convinced that at 46 her love life was over and done with.

We all encouraged her to get out more, to be more sociable and motivate herself to forget about finding a relationship and just try to find some fun. She did exactly that and once she stopped focusing on finding a man, he found her.

You have a choice, sit and be miserable or get out of your current mood and motivate yourself. A happy, fun person will without doubt attract more attention than a dull, life is over person.

Having trouble motivating yourself? Try these 25 ways to motivate yourself and see how easy it is to change your lifestyle.