The Importance of Cuddling | Relationship Advice

Cuddling is a special form of intimacy, not the foreplay type of cuddling or cuddling after sexual activity but the ”I love to be with you’ type of cuddling. It’s a great way of bonding with your partner.

Have you ever noticed that bubbly, happy people tend to be more cuddly. Whereas stern, stressed out people tend to prefer their personal space not to be invaded.

A strong happy relationship needs intimacy and affection, we must take time out of our stressful lives to switch off the tv and have a cuddling session.

Many couples now only cuddle in bed, usually as a prelude to foreplay and sexual activity but can you remember when you were first dating and couldn’t get enough cuddling? It wasn’t about foreplay or duty, you just had to be touching them all the time.

It didn’t matter if you were reading a book, watching tv or washing the dishes, you needed to cuddle them, stroke their skin and kiss them lightly. There were times you cuddled them so hard you wanted to merge into one being .. over time it is all too easy to lose this intimacy.

The stresses of life, work, finances, kids, etc all detract from those intimate feelings you had at the beginning of your relationship and you begin to live side by side rather than together.

If we want to re-connect with our partners on an intimate level then this is what we need to get back to, lots of no strings cuddling.

Women generally need more physical affection than men and respond well to shows of intimacy, although it’s only fair to say men also need to be shown affection in order to feel loved.

For many women cuddling is actually much more important than sex. However if we are only ever cuddled when it’s time for sexual activity then cuddling loses it’s appeal, it becomes foreplay and not a special way to show your love and affection for each other.

In this situation cuddling can actually become a turn off, knowing that you are only being cuddled as a prelude to something else can actually start to feel like bribery and it loses it’s meaning. If your partner is not in the mood for sexual activity then they will begin to avoid cuddling if it always leads to sex.

Women can also start to avoid cuddling when they feel less attractive, those stretch marks from having kids, the weight they have gained, breasts that aren’t as perky as they once were, etc. Men can also have issues with their physical appearance over time.

This is where cuddling can come into it’s own, spending time just touching each other, running your hands over the stretch marks, snuggle into his plump tummy or cupping a slightly sagging breast as you say I love you can create a real feeling of intimacy and confidence in your relationship.

Not done because you want your weekly hump or because something bad has happened so they need comfort but because you want to spend time together and let them know you love them.

Make time for your partner, spend time cuddling and make it obvious that you are not after anything other than a cuddle. Pick up a book or magazine and pull your partner in for a cuddle as you read .. that really is a special feeling, as it takes them into your private world.

There are many ways to re-connect with a partner in a long term relationship but never underestimate the importance of cuddling.

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Marriage, Relationship Advice

14 Responses to “The Importance of Cuddling | Relationship Advice”

  1. Taylore (1 comments.) Says:

    I personally like how you explained the importance of cuddling. Most dating tips may tell us that physical contact is one way to seduce a man or a woman. But intimacy really is not only for sex, I agree with that. I believe not only couples should begin to realize that but every person who wants to save any of their relationship – with friends, family, or partner.

    Taylore’s last blog post..Dating Tips For Men: Improving Your Calibration

  2. Sally Says:

    Hi Taylore, great blog and good to read dating from a man’s perspective. Do you know the comments aren’t working on your blog?

  3. Online Dating (1 comments.) Says:

    Yup, cuddling is a great way to show you care for your partner.

  4. Carrie Says:

    Me too I think that cuddling is one of the most important things in a relationship! It shows the partner how much you mean to him/her and it gives a certain feeling of safety and security.

  5. doug (1 comments.) Says:

    You are right, there`s nothing better than a cuddle. This simple action has a big affect on a relationship. I think if more couples did this small action each day, then they may find that their relationship would improve as they would develope a closer bond with each other.
    I can say this with honesty as my partner always cuddles up to me whenever watching the t.v or reading a book – and we`ve been like that for the past 16yrs.
    Nice to read about something so small with such huge benefits.
    doug´s last blog ..Relationships And The Magic Of Making Up updated Tue Jul 14 2009 7:13 am CDT My ComLuv Profile

  6. get back with your girlfriend (4 comments.) Says:

    The last relationship I was in lasted almost a year and I doubt it would have lasted that long if we didn’t spend a couple hours in the morning cuddling with each other. Its important to be a good cuddler! nice post here!
    get back with your girlfriend´s last blog .. My ComLuv Profile

  7. Sonia from Dating and Relationships Tips (3 comments.) Says:

    Cuddling is definitely important but is very easily forgotton when the relationship develops over a long perios of time. Back to the small basic things are the ones that usually count the most!
    Sonia@Dating and Relationships Tips´s last blog .. My ComLuv Profile

  8. Shaun from How to get pimples (1 comments.) Says:

    I agree with the post, hugging or cuddling may not seem much but it has the ‘i want to be with you’ feeling towards your partner. It has a feeling beyond words. You may add a sweet kiss to that.
    Shaun@How to get pimples´s last blog ..Pimples on Women My ComLuv Profile

  9. how to win your girlfriend back (1 comments.) Says:

    It should be a requirement to hug each other before you leave for work each day and when you come home if you live with each other
    how to win your girlfriend back´s last blog ..How To Win Your Girlfriend Back By Knowing What To Do After The BreakUp My ComLuv Profile

  10. Get Back Your Ex Girlfriend (3 comments.) Says:

    Physical closeness such as hugs or cuddling helps cement the emotional bond you have with your partner. It’s an excellent way of keeping your relationship tight, and it promotes the sense of being a team, too.

  11. Sally Says:

    Hi GBYEG

    Great point, being a team is certainly the way to build a strong relationship.

  12. Adrian from approach anxiety (1 comments.) Says:

    I can agree with your post. Cuddling is very important. It can give spice to the relationship which is always a good thing.

  13. Sarah Says:

    My husband and I never cuddle anymore… Ironic if you know our email domain name… When I started internet dating him, he was a “snuggleaholic” and that was a big part of what attracted me to him. He would tell me on msn or over email how much he would like to cuddle me and wrap his arms around me and just lay there with me in his arms. The thought sent shivers down my spine and really excited me on a level deeper than a sexual one. When we met for the first time, the thing I looked forward to most, was being held in the way that he had described and that I had spent hours imagining in the time that we had been dating over the internet.

    Now, like I say, we never cuddle…. we never have those moments where stroke or gently touch or kiss each other just for the sake of being close. It makes me feel like the relationship is empty in a way, there’s no affection or spontaneous display of that affection. I can’t remember the last time we snuggled, or kissed. Recently I’ve been contemplating our relationship, and whether it is still on track. To be honest I think we derailed some time ago, and the only way to fix things is to go back, pick ourselves up and put ourselves back on track with making the time and the effort to share these little moments. It’s not easy when we have three children, but we must… otherwise the spark will never be reignited between us, and lets face it, without the feeling that we are loving and being loved, wanting each other and being wanted… well, one of us is bound to stay aren’t we. Marriage doesn’t just “work” automatically, it takes effort. It takes time. It takes cuddles.

    Thanks for this. It’s made me realise where we lost our way, and I think I know what we need to do to make this work now…

  14. Sally Says:

    Hi Sarah

    What an amazing comment. Like many difficulties in life the most important step is recognising there is a problem. You seem to have the right idea, go back and start to romance each other again. I wish you the best of luck and I feel confident that with an attitude like yours the pair of you will soon be snuggaholics again.