The soldier in a war zone dating scam has been around for a few years now but it’s surprising how many people dating online remain unaware of it.
Nigerian and Russian scammers have long used the old “I’m a civil engineer working in Nigeria or Russia …. oops I’ve been robbed/got sick/got a great business deal and need a financial loan” trick to scam money out of trusting people they meet online.
The serviceman scam stoops to an even deeper low, playing on people’s patriotism, sympathies and trust.
When it began the soldier scam usually said they were a soldier (from US or UK) serving in Iraq but as public popularity for the Iraq war dwindled Afghanistan became the war zone of choice.
This is how the scam works:
After registering with an online dating site the scammer uploads a photo of a soldier they have downloaded from a facebook page or army recruiting website and then copies and pastes a great profile writeup from a script.
They immediately send a short but friendly message to numerous women on the site introducing themselves and asking about the woman.
You reply, saying a little about yourself and asking about him.
When they respond they will give very little away about themselves, again responding to what you have told them and asking questions about you. They will also give an email or msn address where you can contact them offsite.
NB … the more you tell a stranger about yourself, particularly personal stories, the closer you feel to them because there is a bond of trust … scammers use this against you and the more you tell the more trust you show.
In their second or third email they will tell you they are a US or UK soldier serving in Afghanistan or Iraq … they say they hope that doesn’t scare you … and they have one child they are totally devoted to.
The story then varies depending on which script the scammer is working from …. either they are a widower or divorced …. sometimes their ex/deceased wife was a Nigerian, if so the child may have gone to stay with his ex/deceased wife’s mother in Nigeria while he is away at war, or else the child is with his own mother in UK or US while they are in Afghanistan (this depends wether they have contacts in the UK or US to channel the money through).
After they feel they have your trust and you are emotionally hooked (usually after declarations of love or commitment to a long term relationship) they will start to mention how worried they are because they’ve heard their child is sick. This can either be a gradual process or they will receive a call with the heartbreaking news while they are talking to you online or by phone.
Then the first request to borrow money will arrive to pay for emergency medical care for their child … obviously they can’t send money from Afghanistan, it’s a war zone but will pay you back as soon as they get home.
If you send money the requests will keep coming as their imaginary child gets sicker and the medical bills mount up … oh and don’t forget his dear old mother who has to stay in a hotel next to the hospital.
This scam is quite successful because you have a patriotic soldier putting life and limb on the line each day. One who has gone through heartbreak and tough times emotionally (showing his vulnerable side) and of course one that is totally committed to loving and caring for you for the rest of your life … they are exactly what you have been looking for, a real life knight in shining armour.
A professional woman in the UK was scammed out of £10,000 by this very type of scam …. please don’t fall for it.
My apologies to the genuine US soldier in the photo used in this article, I simply copied it from google images to show how easy it is and I hope the soldier in the picture (and his family) would understand my intention is simply to keep women safe by explaining how the soldier scam works.
September 15th, 2009 at 5:52 am
All a woman (or man) needs to keep in mind is when a virtual stranger asks you for money he/she only sees you as a walking wallet. No person who is legitimately interested in a relationship with another would ask for money so soon – they’d be worried about what that person would think and that they might blow it with them. The only time you should give/lend monies is when you’re in an actual committed relationship.
September 23rd, 2009 at 12:12 pm
That is very true Clark, unfortunately lonely people get swept away with the idea of falling in love and that tends to blind them to the obvious.
October 13th, 2009 at 10:11 am
i caint believe i think ive just been scammed by the soldier scam a little different story line to what ive read but he found me on line dateing said he was sgt in iraq we talked by internet every day and he stole my heart i did wonder why he never shared much about himself but always said it was confidential he then asked me to send money for a phone connection so we could talk i feel for that but did find it strange i had to send the money to a women in usa if he was in iraq but was told that was the representative 2 days later i was told the connection couldnt be done as i lived in a problem area i then got suspiciouse and started to look up things i emailed ts2 but never had reply i found woman on my space whom the money got sent to then he asked for a large amount of money telling me he could have leave but had to pay costs himself this is when i started looking up more and got peoples opinions which then felt a fool that i feel for this man but he did everything so good the photos the letter from commander and also a transit failcuity form i thankfully never sent any money that time but have still recieved email from him saying forget the money but need to build our love back i think to use a soldier deployed to scam someone is lower than low i caint believe someone would use this situation please could you tell me how to report this as dont want anyone else to fall for this im in england and ive done a trace on the emails through ip address for him and it says sunnyvale ca usa please help
October 14th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
Hi Lucy
Stop all communication with this person right now, delete them from your internet accounts.
I’m sorry you were chatting to a scammer and there is no need to feel like a fool, they are very good at what they do.
Service men and women overseas (both from the UK and USA) are provided with adequate communications systems and also means of withdrawing cash for their local needs. Anyone you chat to online that asks you for money ……. run away, they are a scammer.
Some scam groups work from the US and UK, with partners in places like Nigeria which could explain the ip address or they could be using a proxy ip address.
Unfortunately there is nothing the authorities can do but you can report the scammer here http://www.consumerfraudreporting.org/reporting.php and there are a number of romance scam websites you can post the scammers details, just google report romance scammers.
However, I am pleased you have realised this is a scam before you got in too deeply, these slimeballs have left some people deeply in debt and do they sleep well at night .. you can bet they do.
May 23rd, 2010 at 3:38 pm
I HAVE FALLEN VICTIM TO THE SOLDIER SCAM. HE MADE ALL THESE PROMISES AND I TOO HAVE TRACED THE IP ADDRESSES BACK TO SUNNYVALE CALIORNIA. IM NOT AS LUCKY AS U I SENT 1000 BRITISH POUNDS AND THEN WHEN HE STARTED ASKING FOR MONEY FOR BTA. I GOT LEARY. I LOOKED UP BTA AND FOUND OUT THAT THERE IS NO SUCH THING. I TOLD HIM THAT I KNEW HE WAS A SCAMMER AND THAT I WAS REPORTING ME AND HE THEN SENT ME PICS OF HIS SON FREDDIE WHOS MOM HAD DIED FOUR YEARS AGO AND HE WAS IN A BRITISH BOARDING SCHOOL WHILE HE WAS FINISHING HIS TOUR IN IRAQ. HE DESPERATELY NEEDED TO GET BACK TO THE STATES TO ASSIST TO HIS DECEASED MOTHERS AFFAIRS. AND BLAH BLAH BLAH. I HAVE TRIED TO BLOCK HIM BUT HE STILL TRIES TO TALK TO ME ALL THE TIME. BEWARE
June 12th, 2010 at 9:44 am
I had exactly the same experience, a soldier in iraq,who thought I was the bees knees!
I thought it was odd when he said he wanted to hear my voice and mentioned that I might have to pay to use a special phone line/connection to speak to him! I didn’t immediately think scammer…just that if some guy really liked me, why do I have to pay to speak to him! so I ceased all contact….and considering that he’d declared that he really really liked me, I haven’t heard a word since then. Luckily I’m a natural cynic, even If i was a bit slow on the uptake. I have had lots and lots of weird messages from chaps from abroad on the dating site(uk) DatingForParents, and question the site’s validity. I have tried, unsuccessfully now to shut down my account 3 times with them and each time I do I receive a several messages from guys abroad. Coincidence? I don’t think so! I have to say, I was brought up to think that if something seems to good to be true, it generally is!
June 12th, 2010 at 11:52 am
Hi Della
Thanks for your story and well done for being a cynic. This is typical of big dating sites, you might not get a message for 3 months but as soon as you cancel you are flooded with messages. They rely on the “what if” emotions we all feel … don’t fall for it, once you cancel don’t even try to open any messages that come through. You are also doing the right thing in posting on blogs about this website, hopefully others thinking of joining will see your comments on blogs such as this and avoid joining in the first place.
June 12th, 2010 at 7:21 pm
I have pasted one of the scam profiles i’ve received from the dating site DatingForParents. If i can stop anyone from being taken in…well that would be great. I did report it to the site, but they don’t respond, and they don’t seem to have any system to stop these things getting through. anyway please read this, I’ve seen several like this now, note the chaps name its ASHWORTH, but he has spelt his own name wrong!Also it’s quite obvious that English isn’t the first language here…I wish I could paste you the picture he used…wow he was ‘amazing’!
What I did on the site as i was having trouble getting off, and they were ignoring my messages…well I posted details of the scams on my profile.
As far as I know its still there and will be til sometime in July!
Hair colour Dark Brown
Eye colour Brown
Body type Average
Height 6′ 0 (1.83m)
Ethnicity White
Religion Christian
Education Degree
Industry Public sector/armed forces
Employment Employed
Income <£60,000
Drinking Light
Smoking Yes
Relationships Widowed
Have children Yes, not living at home
Want children Not sure
Housing – Not Given -
Chat Up Line:
love is reciprocal
Favourite Newspapers, Books or Magazines
daily mirror
Favourite Activities
READING AND WRITTING
Favourite Films or TV shows
24 hours
Want to visit
Egypt….. Germany…
Have visited
USA….. IRAQ…. UK….. AFGHANISTAN…. PAKISTAN…. HAITI.
Favourite Music
Rock
Favourite Sports
football
Description:
hi my name is Ahsworth im 45yrs, im outgoing, honest and hard working. Im looking for possible a relationship with the right woman. i have a son of 12yrs…My friends say I am goodhearted n funloving, some even call me wonder man.I like a challenge!! If you want to know more, send me word
Contact this match:
Subject:
Block this person from seeing my profile
Report this profile to customer services
June 13th, 2010 at 11:53 pm
In Reply to Della…Was his name Steven McCabe by chance with email address: ? Widowed 6 years ago and two teenage kids? Deployed in Iraq, needed phone top up so we could have contact… I refused as I didn’t know him. Then he wanted to take leave so we could meet..all within 5 days of speaking mind you. He told me I had to go through the procedure…to ask his SGT Williams for leave, helped me with an email so I would get the wording right, the whole thing stunk of a rat, which of course was going to cost me money. I had worked him out already a last week, but had to be sure. I believe your are in contact with the same guy! And good for you for seeing through him. I really think these so called dating sites need to control the validity of their members. This is the third time I have been contacted by some one like this in the last 3 months and all from so called reputed sites that I pay a fortune for to become a member of.
June 14th, 2010 at 12:04 am
Della: Sorry he goes by the name of smillingfaces01 on the DatingForParents site same person though. It has already been confirmed to me he doesn’t exist in the US Air force.
June 14th, 2010 at 11:31 am
Hi Abby
I would be very interested to know which sites you joined and where contacted by such people, as I am doing research on this very topic now. If you prefer not to say publicly just leave a post asking me to contact you and I can email you.
Thanks
Sally
June 14th, 2010 at 1:04 pm
hello Abby
the ’soldier’ who contacted me was
but I guess it is so easy to set up an account, it means absolutely nothing, he probably has hundreds on the go.
What was quite interesting was his story…which was an american service man, staioned in England, then sent out to Iraq. I think i realised really quickly he was a fraud, because the stories were so hilarious…mother of his child still in England, and then quite detailed accounts of the dangers of patrol, and some weird stuff about some military celebrations, all to add to the story!
what’s really horrible is that lonely people, people who are genuine, and trusting are such marvellous prey. Now I know what to look for, its so easy to spot these bloodsuckers. But yes initially I didn’t know. Unfortunately for the scamsters, they will never get a penny from me, no matter how needy I may be, nor how believing, or trusting, as I haven’t got any!