One question I am often asked is when is the right time to remove your profile from an online dating site.
When you begin to date someone new it is important to find a balance between deciding they are “the one” in the first week thus removing your profile and continuing to chat to other people for the next 6 months just in case your new relationship doesn’t work out.
This is a topic for discussion between yourself and the new partner in your life.
If you simply decide after two dates to remove your profile it is a clear indication of intent on your part and may scare the new partner away, feeling they are being forced into a commitment they are not ready for.
The other side of the coin is that your new partner finds out after months of dating you that you are still active on dating websites, again this can lead to feelings of insecurity about your relationship as it is a clear indication that you are still seeking that special someone.
My advice is always to leave your dating profile on the website but do not log in to your account and tell your new partner that this is what you are doing. This means you can always go back to where you were if the relationship doesn’t work out.
This leads to the next problem, sneaking on to see if they are still active on the site. They then sneak on to see if you are still active and notice that you have been on the site, you then notice they have been on and round and round it goes.
This is going to cause you both problems and could end what may have been the perfect relationship for you.
So be honest, after a couple of dates state that you are enjoying seeing them so intend to leave your profile on the dating site but not use the site while you are both dating. When it is decided between you, that means agreement on both sides, that the relationship is exclusive then you can discuss removing your profiles from the site.
Remember a relationship is a two way street, just because you decide you are in a commited relationship doesn’t mean they have also decided the same thing …. discuss your relationship as it progresses but not every time you meet.
November 7th, 2008 at 6:50 am
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July 17th, 2009 at 9:04 am
There is no right or wrong answer on when to remove your online profile. I would go with the author on leaving the profile and not login. Once the relationship is steady do you consider deleting the online dating profile.
Calvin @ making up with your ex´s last undefined ..(Enjoy 10 returned posts for 2 weeks)
July 21st, 2009 at 8:55 pm
I totally disagree with keeping an online dating profile just in case your relationship doesn’t work out because it is more likely not to work out if you’re not totally committed to it!
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:40 am
Hi Bethany, so would you remove your profile after the first or second date?
September 2nd, 2009 at 11:10 am
Well I think it is the right time to remove your profile from online dating website after about 3-4 dates because then I think then your profile will probably be worn out.
August 3rd, 2010 at 2:02 pm
I’d go with your advice on keeping the profile on the site but not logging in, Sally, but with an added extra tip. You may find the dating site has the ability to hide your profile from searches. This can be a good option to use, and, of course tell your partner that this is what you’re doing. This will let them be assured that you’re serious as no-one will find your profile in searches, and you’re not logging on so its kind-of similar to deleting the profile.
The big benefit of this is that if the relationship then doesn’t end up working out, you can then reactivate the profile with just a click or two, and not need to sign up again. Some people put a lot of effort into creating the right description for their profile…that will still be waiting there to be quickly reactivated. You’ll keep all of your existing past contacts that way too (if you want to), and all of your other linked activities, like maybe forum posts and stuff.
August 4th, 2010 at 4:19 pm
Great tip Paul.