So you joined an online dating website and spent three days trying to get your profile right and then waited for people to contact you …. and waited …. and waited.
At last your message box says you have a new contact … woohoo the game is afoot and you reach for the reply button….. but wait, have you considered whether you are compatible?
Here are 5 tips for you to consider before you reply to online dating site messages:
1. Looks really aren’t everything. Don’t just look at the main profile photo and decide they are worth contacting. Check out their other photo’s, are they in situations you may enjoy? If their photo shows cats in every one and you are allergic to cats it may be worth waiting for the next candidate. Also if they only have one photo then after a couple of emails ask to see other photos before you commit to meeting them.
2. Read between the lines of the profile and don’t fill in the blanks from your imagination. The most obvious example would be smoking, if the profile says “trying to give up” and you can’t be in the same room as a smoker then this is not the person for you. If you can be around smokers but would hope your partner is not a smoker then chat in your messages about how they are doing with giving up. As you read the profile write down questions and if you decide to respond then ask question to allow the person to fill in the real blanks, not your imaginary version.
3. Is their message personal to you? Have they asked you about something on your profile or commented on something you have in common? If not consider that a generic message can be sent to anyone and everyone, these are used to fish for possible responses and the sender has often not considered your possible compatibility. Make it a rule that you only respond to messages personal to you but not overly personal (eg love your pic email me on spammer @nigeria.com).
4. Don’t give out too much information. When responding to online dating site messages picture yourself in a cafe or bar with someone on a first date, how much information would you feel comfortable revealing about yourself? It is easy to get carried away when sending messages over the internet, it is easier to reveal more about yourself than you would in real life because the person is not sitting looking at you.
5. Don’t believe everything you read.