Why oh why do people arrange first dates in a restaurant? People are bound to be nervous and surrounding yourself with sharp implements to impale yourself on in a fit of Norman Wisdom clumsiness is just asking for trouble.
Even if you manage to avoid removing an eye with the butter knife there are still the other restaurant obstacles to be avoided, like wearing half of your food, your inability to read french or know which form of sushi is likely to kill you, forgetting which is the red wine glass or heaven forbid being rude to the waiter in order to look ‘cool’ and in control.
Personally I would prefer a night of ten pin bowling or bungie jumping, at least then I am expected to make a total fool of myself.
However, the fact remains that most first dates are held in restaurants.
Here are a few golden rules for a successful first date eating out.
1. Don’t be adventurous. It is always tempting to say “let’s try the new Bungamelion place in town” in order to look sophisticated but if your usual idea of an adventurous meal out is sweet and sour pork or chicken korma then being faced with a menu of deep fried ostrich testicles or turtles eyes in frog spit may result in a rather embarrassing experience. Stick to the tried and tested.
2. Choose neutral ground. Book somewhere that neither of you have been before, this way if the food is dreadful it does not reflect on your personal choices and you can both complain about the awful food or service and vow never to return again. You can also suggest a second date in order to improve on the first. Lastly if you happen to find a bunny boiler then taking them to your Friday night eatery is a very bad idea, they have a habit of showing up again.
3. Be careful what you eat. Garlic breath is not your only concern when eating out, fish, coffee and spicy meat are just some of the foods that make that first kiss a bit of a nightmare. If you are making a night of it also consider avoiding beans, sprouts and anything that will cause loud unpleasant noises in the trouser regions … not to mention the aroma and when not at home you can’t blame the dog.
4. Don’t order for them. Just because you think roasted horse penis is a gourmet dish doesn’t mean they will. It may seem a romantic gesture but unless you know someones tastes ordering your favourite meal for them may end in disaster, if they don’t like the food you enjoy they will ask themselves what else about you they are not compatible with.
5. Avoid getting drunk. Drinking should relax you, not make you sing the hedgehog song half naked on the bar!! This may go down well with your mates on a Friday night but is not a good impression on a first date. Pace your drinking and don’t be lulled into the false idea that eating while you drink will stop you getting drunk and making a total idiot of yourself.
PS … when dressing for a date check out your rear view, 3 inches of cotton knickers showing is really not attractive (check out the photo above).