Cuddling is a special form of intimacy, not the foreplay type of cuddling or cuddling after sexual activity but the ”I love to be with you’ type of cuddling. It’s a great way of bonding with your partner.
Have you ever noticed that bubbly, happy people tend to be more cuddly. Whereas stern, stressed out people tend to prefer their personal space not to be invaded.
A strong happy relationship needs intimacy and affection, we must take time out of our stressful lives to switch off the tv and have a cuddling session.
Many couples now only cuddle in bed, usually as a prelude to foreplay and sexual activity but can you remember when you were first dating and couldn’t get enough cuddling? It wasn’t about foreplay or duty, you just had to be touching them all the time.
It didn’t matter if you were reading a book, watching tv or washing the dishes, you needed to cuddle them, stroke their skin and kiss them lightly. There were times you cuddled them so hard you wanted to merge into one being .. over time it is all too easy to lose this intimacy.
The stresses of life, work, finances, kids, etc all detract from those intimate feelings you had at the beginning of your relationship and you begin to live side by side rather than together.
If we want to re-connect with our partners on an intimate level then this is what we need to get back to, lots of no strings cuddling.
Women generally need more physical affection than men and respond well to shows of intimacy, although it’s only fair to say men also need to be shown affection in order to feel loved.
For many women cuddling is actually much more important than sex. However if we are only ever cuddled when it’s time for sexual activity then cuddling loses it’s appeal, it becomes foreplay and not a special way to show your love and affection for each other.
In this situation cuddling can actually become a turn off, knowing that you are only being cuddled as a prelude to something else can actually start to feel like bribery and it loses it’s meaning. If your partner is not in the mood for sexual activity then they will begin to avoid cuddling if it always leads to sex.
Women can also start to avoid cuddling when they feel less attractive, those stretch marks from having kids, the weight they have gained, breasts that aren’t as perky as they once were, etc. Men can also have issues with their physical appearance over time.
This is where cuddling can come into it’s own, spending time just touching each other, running your hands over the stretch marks, snuggle into his plump tummy or cupping a slightly sagging breast as you say I love you can create a real feeling of intimacy and confidence in your relationship.
Not done because you want your weekly hump or because something bad has happened so they need comfort but because you want to spend time together and let them know you love them.
Make time for your partner, spend time cuddling and make it obvious that you are not after anything other than a cuddle. Pick up a book or magazine and pull your partner in for a cuddle as you read .. that really is a special feeling, as it takes them into your private world.
There are many ways to re-connect with a partner in a long term relationship but never underestimate the importance of cuddling.
March 16th, 2009 at 8:35 pm
I personally like how you explained the importance of cuddling. Most dating tips may tell us that physical contact is one way to seduce a man or a woman. But intimacy really is not only for sex, I agree with that. I believe not only couples should begin to realize that but every person who wants to save any of their relationship – with friends, family, or partner.
Taylore’s last blog post..Dating Tips For Men: Improving Your Calibration
March 18th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
Hi Taylore, great blog and good to read dating from a man’s perspective. Do you know the comments aren’t working on your blog?
March 26th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Yup, cuddling is a great way to show you care for your partner.
April 10th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
Me too I think that cuddling is one of the most important things in a relationship! It shows the partner how much you mean to him/her and it gives a certain feeling of safety and security.
July 14th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
You are right, there`s nothing better than a cuddle. This simple action has a big affect on a relationship. I think if more couples did this small action each day, then they may find that their relationship would improve as they would develope a closer bond with each other.
I can say this with honesty as my partner always cuddles up to me whenever watching the t.v or reading a book – and we`ve been like that for the past 16yrs.
Nice to read about something so small with such huge benefits.
doug´s last blog ..Relationships And The Magic Of Making Up updated Tue Jul 14 2009 7:13 am CDT
July 18th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
The last relationship I was in lasted almost a year and I doubt it would have lasted that long if we didn’t spend a couple hours in the morning cuddling with each other. Its important to be a good cuddler! nice post here!
get back with your girlfriend´s last blog ..
July 20th, 2009 at 7:39 pm
Cuddling is definitely important but is very easily forgotton when the relationship develops over a long perios of time. Back to the small basic things are the ones that usually count the most!
Sonia@Dating and Relationships Tips´s last blog ..
August 21st, 2009 at 5:27 am
I agree with the post, hugging or cuddling may not seem much but it has the ‘i want to be with you’ feeling towards your partner. It has a feeling beyond words. You may add a sweet kiss to that.
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