Dating in your 40’s - what men want?

The ever moving goal posts of the dating game leave older daters in turmoil, with dating techniques constantly changing.

No doubt each generation feels the same, we date in our younger years then enter a long term relationship but when we find ourselves on the singles market again everything seems to have changed.

During the past two decades women in our society have been learning that saying you are looking for a “long term relationship” is tantamount to a marriage proposal on a first date.

This attitude still exists, just two days ago I sat with a male friend discussing our hopes, dreams and ideal future partners. When I explained what I would ultimately like for myself in the future he immediately pointed out that he could not be that man.

Why on earth would he feel the need to point that out, do I have desperate and looking for anyone that will have me tattooed on my forehead? I thought I was just discussing my thoughts with a friend, I really found it a little insulting but put it down to natural male reaction these days.

However there is a flip side to this attitude. Women now know the general rule that men run a mile when they hear a woman say she is looking for a life partner and not just a good time. That means that men looking for a long term relationship are met with women trying to sound happy to remain single in order not to frighten them off.

Here is the dilemma for dating in your 40’s, most people will spend a period of time after the break up of their marriage playing the field but at some point they miss having a real partner and the comforts of home life. This is when they find that dating has become a minefield of guesswork, no longer ruled by a set dating etiquette.

My advice is to be honest about what you are looking for, many people are happy to date and stay single but there are also those, both male and female, looking for a long term relationship. There is nothing wrong with either attitude and it is much better to date people that are looking for the same thing.

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